Eight bullshit articles for women to avoid

Thursday, 17 October 2013

Oh internet, you continue to spew forth your infinite wisdom to us women – how would we live without your sage advice? Usually I read, rage, regret and then forget articles like this. But today, I respond too. For your reading pleasure: eight bullshit articles for women to avoid.

1) ‘Can women have it all?’ 
What is ‘all’ and who is this general mass called ‘women’? What is life? What is happiness? What decade is this? Shall we ponder these existential questions, or shall we just roll our eyes at your trite, inane and unoriginal article?

2) ‘Procreation & Sex: you’re not doing it enough/you’re doing it too much/you’re doing it wrong’
Here’s a hint: how women use or don’t use their reproductive and sexual organs is none of your business.

3) ‘Are you 30/40/50? It’s too late ladies, give up!’
Go hide in a cave and protect humanity from the horror of your ageing body – how dare you take up space by continuing to exist, women?

4) ‘Is feminism women’s worst enemy?’
Short answer: no. MOVE ON JOURNALISTS.

5) ‘Your personality: you’re doing it wrong. Change it to attract more men’
Sigh. Weep. Repeat.

6) ‘Are you sad/stressed/overwhelmed/underpaid at work? Congratulations, it’s all your fault!’
There’s no such thing as society, or structural and institutional inequality. If you’re unhappy, fix yourself silly woman and stop complaining about wage disparity and other insignificant problems.

7) ‘Drunk ladies in mini-skirts: they’re asking for it’
If by ‘it’ you mean ‘to be treated like human beings’, then by all means, make your point. Everything else ‘it’ implies falls into the category of: you don’t get to dehumanise another human being, you slut-shaming assholes who profit from other people’s pain by writing click-baiting crap.

8) ‘Here’s a list that puts you in pigeonholes’
Because women aren’t people, they’re ‘types’.

*Bonus extra for slow news weeks/we’re-desperate-to-manufacture-news days*  
‘What women want’
Magically, some journalists have interviewed every single woman on earth to find out that they all want the same things. Isn’t that just amazing?

I’m sure this has not been enlightening – just like 90% of the articles for women out there aren’t. They aren’t even scraping the bottom of the barrel; they’re the turd upon which the barrel is gleefully flung. Please, make it stop.


ronnie said...

hallelujah! say it again sista! *nods head in agreement with everything said.... and shares this post widely*

Hila said...

Sarcasm is my friend today, Ronnie.

emily @ cabin fervor said...

May I also add: "These mothers are better than you, but they're still not happy and their kids are kind of a mess."

Michal Benik said...

Ah, I appreciate this post so much. So sick of all the bullshit.

Nit said...

Oh, those are fun! more so when you encounter them in real life by a real person... I like Junot Diaz (and his awareness of narratives) better though: http://ofgrammatology.tumblr.com/post/62134937653/if-youre-a-boy-writer-its-a-simple-rule-youve

Sasha said...

Your summarization of these articles is one part with sarcastic excellence. I wish all sexist articles came with such disclaimers!

Amelia said...

Whenever I see a real story that revolves one of the subjects you mentioned, I always assume that a colossal ass wrote it. And I always read them with that imagery in mind. It's a self-preservation mechanism I suppose.

Hila said...

Emily: oh yes, don't get me started on the 'motherhood' articles.

Michal: Me too.

Nit: It's always fun when you encounter them in real life too - and by 'fun' I mean 'ragey'.

Sasha: The disclaimers should be: 'don't feed the tabloid beast'.

Amelia: And it's always a little bit more disappointing when the ass who wrote it is a woman.

Robbie Krista Robinson said...

Totally cracking up, shaking my head, and saying YES!!! :-) Unbelievable.

Hila said...

Robbie: :)