what a lovely Poem.
Very touching, you are talented!
"brown sugarscattered lostgrains entrenched violently within"That bit makes me daydream. So touching.
Is this like a fixed feature? YEEEYBeautiful poem. Did you know that statistically people consider Wednesday the most depressing day of the week - But not for me! Beautiful words! Will think about this for a while.
Beautiful, Hila. "The idea of you is brown sugar..." Love that. :-)
Lovely and moving. Like everyone else, I like the "brown sugar" image, and I'm also digging your line breaks. It's awesome to see bloggers sharing poetry. I often wonder about the blog/poetry interface, how it works, is it good, does the audience notice things without pretty photos, but this seems like an example of it working well. Keep it up :)
This is lovely. I found myself thinking of my own grandfather and then I saw it was for yours. I like "bewildered brown" a lot.
I'm so glad that you are now publishing your poems. It allows me to expand my world :)
This was really very nice. Reminds me of my grandfather who passed away only earlier this year.
Very happy to have found you, fellow Spoonful writer...Your work is so sincere.
Beautiful poem! I particularly like the opening lines — "I have an idea of you / as I sit on your / lap." There's a nice rhythm there.
this is really beautiful. and I'm a picky poetry reader.
this is really wonderful, hila! i love this line a lot: "the idea of you is brown sugar..."
beautiful, hila! i really love the opening lines. and yes, i also thought of my own grandpa while reading this. also, we might have had a cross-hemisphere blogger sync because i've also decided to share more of my drafty poems/process notes in my blog. i'm so happy you are sharing some of your poetry, too! :)
neon noose: thank you.miss flying v: thanks, not sure I am though :)leah: I'm so glad, I thought that part would only make sense to me.amelia: thanks, and yes, it'll be a regular feature :) I didn't know that statistic, seems an odd day to be considered 'depressing' - Monday is more suitable for that role.rambling tart: thank you. I hope you're doing well!sarah; yeah, I worry about all that too. I guess though I decided to give a try and see where it takes me ...jane flanagan: thanks Jane, that means a lot to me.olga: oh you should definitely expand your world with better poetry! not sure my scribbles are quite 'poetry' yet.joy: mine passed away too, I'm glad this connects with you.hannah: that's such a lovely compliment, thank you. and yes, hello fellow spoonful writer!elliottwithlove: thank you, great feedback here - I was going for a specific rhythm, I'm glad it worked in some way.mosey: why thank you, I'm flattered then.andrea: I'm chuffed that people are responding to this particular line.odessa: oh snap! that sounds great odessa, looking forward to reading your work.
beautiful and really touching
What a beautiful poem Hila. I very much like your brown sugar reflection ... lovely and so touching.:)
tana: thank you so much.tracey: the brown sugar seems to be a hit :)
i love it!..just love it!
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